He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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