I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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