3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
