Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
