We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
