totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
