You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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