so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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