Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
