If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
