So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They took my balls.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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