Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
