Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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