So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
