Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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