I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
