I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
