This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
