Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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