Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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