i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
