I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
