Are we in a gay sports bar?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
