WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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