i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
