I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
