my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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