wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
