We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
