I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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