I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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