I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
