His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
