My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
