Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
