I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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