Non-Jews are for practice
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
