It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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