I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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