Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
not ubering you a puppy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
