TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
