I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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