So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
