I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
