OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
