Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
