How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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