Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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