Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
