bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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